Mum, “Why do people get divorced?”

The girls and I were having dinner one evening and, out of the blue, my oldest daughter Story asked "Why do people get divorced?"

I quickly searched my brain for a response and went to my heart instead.
I said “Imagine you turn twenty and you get the opportunity to get a car, any car you want, the only stipulation is that this is going to be the car you drive for the rest of your life. Which one would you pick?”

She quickly replied, “Oh, a Volkswagen, Beetle!”

I said, “Awesome car! You are going to love that car.”

Then I asked, “Are you going to have kids?"

She said “Yes, a couple, I think.”

I said “Are you going to have a pet? A partner? Go on vacation? Do you think that car is going to fit all those plans you have for the rest of your life?"

She said “Oh, maybe not”.

I said “Exactly. It doesn’t mean that it wasn’t an awesome car. It doesn’t mean you didn’t love it, create great memories and experiences with it, have so much fun with it, or that it didn’t fit you at that time of your life. It’s just that we change."

That’s one of the beautiful parts of being a human. We change, we grow, and our needs evolve. What fits us in one part of our lives might not always fit forever and that’s okay. We learn, we love, and we get to know ourselves better with every experience.

I know people aren’t cars, and relationships aren’t always that easy, but the girls seemed satisfied with this answer, and it came from my heart, which has yet to fail me in this life.

People change.

Families change.

Family has always been more than your Mom, Dad, and siblings. There are many people that make up families, people we share DNA with and then the people we choose to love and be connected as if they are blood relatives.

The way I look at it is, the more people to love us the better. That’s what I want for my girls; the freedom to choose and the security that they will always be loved no matter what their choices, as long as they follow their hearts.